Breaking the Cage
Well hello! I’m Shelby. Exmo. Pescatarian. Environmentalist. Traveler. And a woman that is breaking cages.
You might not know what “the cage” is. No it’s not some fancy metaphor you should have heard. I made it up. It represents the cage women are stuck in and should break free from to be truly happy.It can be the cage of religion, the cage of beauty expectations, the cage of women’s roles in society and pressure to bear children. Women are in lots of cages. And it’s time to break out.
I’ve broken out of my biggest. Religion. If you’re unfamiliar with Mormonism, I’ll give you the important bits that affect someone like me: a woman. My greatest purpose was to be a mother and my place was at home rearing them. On top of that, alcohol, coffee, weed and any other substance that could mellow out a stressed out, over-worked, undervalued mother was strictly forbidden. They are against (though they’ll phrase it nicely) gays, lesbians, transgender, and any other person not straight or who doesn’t identify with the gender they were assigned with at birth.
Anyway, I could go on forever about the issues I found with the church, but let’s water it down to this: they were judgemental and controlling assholes and the mentality was beyond damaging. I needed out.
And the life I wanted was frowned upon. A life of freedom, of no children, of no religion. This lead to a pre-planned life, heavy expectations on the type of person I was to be, or associate with. I was in a cage. I wanted a different life, I wanted to meet people different from myself, I wanted to see the world, I wanted to leave my mark and truly understand just how amazing this wide world is.
That required leaving the cage.
I left Mormonism, had my name officially removed and want nothing to do with the church. And I couldn’t be happier about it.
But I’m not out yet. I still have all the cages society throws me in. Women must be: Mothers, beautiful, classy, modest, sexy, crafty, homemaker, leader of women. Yup. Like I said. Fuck you society.
So if you don’t fit into these cages…if you have no desire to be a mother, if you want to flip society’s beauty expectations the bird, if you enjoy belching and cursing, if you want to show off your body to the world, if you are more comfortable in sweatpants, if you are a working parent—welcome. Those are your cages and it’s time to break free. This is a safe space. And those are the cages I continue to fight daily as well.
I’ve always had dreams of traveling. And those cages put a shit ton of restrictions on that dream. So when my husband and I decided to not have children and then soon after leave the church, suddenly my dream was a possibility. And let me tell you: the future has never seemed brighter. Because when you break free from one cage, you’ll find it so much easier to break through them all. You’ll also find it easier to identify the cages in the first place. That’s where I’ll also come in.
This blog documents my adventures in seeing the world and sharing with you all the many lifestyles around this planet. It’ll show you that the life you’re pressured to live, the person you’re expected to be, isn’t the true you. I’ll show you other values and perspectives. I’ll help you open your eyes. And I’ll help you break free from those cages.
So if you’re a woman, if you are inspired by the wide world, if you want to learn about other ways of life, if you want someone to be angry for you, welcome. Now you know my story. Or the beginning at least.
Let’s see the real world. Let’s question the norm. And let’s break the hell out of those cages and live the life we want.
This blog starts where my real adventures begin so I’m taking you along for the ride. Since side-stepping the traditional role I was brainwashed with since birth, and choosing a life of freedom, fun, and adventure, I’ve realized there is so much more I want from myself. That life wasn’t for me and that’s okay, just like it’s hunky-dory if it works for someone else.
Do you have a cage you want to break from? Multiple? Let’s be pals and hopefully I can help you get there. Let’s live life outside the cage.